i know when i'm not needed. :/ tampo mode. grr to me.

summer vacation started last friday, march 20. yeh. it sucks.

so, here i am, going to be stuck at home.. and sadly, nobody even cares. not only that, but nobody cares about me and how i feel anymore. and i don't effing know if it's just an effing moodswing. i feel.. unhuman. i feel.. invisible. yeh. that's the correct term. it's like after classes, i don't feel anything anymore. let's just say, it's like "i'm only there when i'm needed". i'm not pertaining this to anyone in particular but, it hurts a lot when nobody even makes the effort to make me feel needed. damn. am i being so dramatic?

probably, your answer is yes. but who cares about me, right? so, if ever you get to read this blog of mine, it might seem like trash. it just hurts so much WHEN YOU DID EVERYTHING YOU CAN FOR THAT PERSON BUT THAT PERSON DOESN'T EVEN NOTICE. am i correct? or AS USUAL, am i wrong?

honestly, i wanna forget about the world already.. and nobody will care most likely. nobody sees my efforts! nobody knows how i really feel when people tell me bad things!!! i just laugh it out and pretend everything is okay with me! i'm pretending it doesn't hurt when people actually make fun of me! nobody cares about my problems whenever i tell them that. it's like i'm always the one to make the first move! i.. don't know what to say anymore.. i'm breaking down already. i can't take anymore of this..

but, i'm the kind of person who is so shallow. and when something good comes my way again, for me, everything is and will be alright, not knowing that the same predicament will repeat again, and again, and again. i'm guessing that one day, i'll be numb because of all this..

well, i guess, i'm quite happy when you reach this part of my blog because you read it up to here. but, probably some people are practically laughing their asses off right now.

i'm sorry. i just get really down when i've kept all my REAL problems inside me. i don't have a sibling to confide it with. it's just me to me.

* i haven't even posted my birthday blog yet, cause i'm not in the mood to write my fun day.

so.. i don't know what to say anymore. again. whatever then.

to all the people: hope you have a happy summer vacation.

-- tampo mode? probably. well, i hat myself, though i'm gonna start learning the guitar, my own.

-- siguro nga, mood swing toh. but, lets leave it be shall we?